More than 300 relatives, friends and colleagues—including dozens of New Canaan municipal employees and officials—on Wednesday gathered at St. Jerome Roman Catholic Church in Norwalk to remember Ben Olmstead as a man of rare and dependable strength in character that showed itself in qualities of consideration, love and generosity of spirit.
Ben Olmstead. Contributed photo
A native and lifelong resident of Norwalk who worked as a surveyor in the New Canaan Department of Public Works for 37 years, Olmstead died July 24 following an accident. He was 71. Olmstead is survived by his wife of 40 years, Donna Pollastro Olmstead, daughters Kim Olmstead Dennehy and Lisa Olmstead Weed and their husbands, granddaughter Julia Grace Dennehy, sister Patricia Weaver and her husband and many extended relatives.
Olmstead’s untimely passing “shakes us to our very core,” the Rev. David Blanchfield said during an emotional Mass which preceded a New Canaan, Norwalk and Westport police-escorted procession to Willowbrook Cemetery in Westport.
“We should not have to be here this morning and Ben—who was larger than life and who in so many ways seemed indestructible—Ben should not have been taken from us so quickly and unfairly,” he said.
Noting that “New Canaan is here in large numbers,” the pastor described Olmstead as a man “who was not only central in his family and beloved in his family but a ma who was connected to so many people.”
“You don’t get a church this full this morning unless a man has made a great impact on those around him,” he said.
An escort from New Canaan, Norwalk and Westport Police led those gathered July 29, 2014 at St. Jerome Roman Catholic Church in Norwalk to Willowbrook Cemetery in Westport, where Ben Olmstead was interred. He died July 24 at age 71. Credit: Michael Dinan
Olmstead was remembered by his family as a man for whom loved ones meant everything, and also as a great fan of the New York Yankees and NASCAR who liked roller coasters and pepper on his French fries, and went out of his way, not just uncomplaining but with grace and enthusiasm, to help anyone he could.
Describing Olmstead as one who “lived life to the fullest” and by way of explaining the Biblical passages chosen for the service, Blanchfield called on those in attendance to take comfort in their faith and remind themselves “that our belief in the resurrection of the Lord had its roots in that first Good Friday when Jesus, God’s son, another man of goodness and strength was cut down before his proper time.”
Readings included Ecclesiastes 3:1-13, 2 Timothy 4:6-8, 17 and Matthew 5:13-16.
Three of Olmstead’s nieces in tearful tributes remembered ways that their uncle—or “Funcle” (Fun Uncle), as they called him—fully embraced the idea of family. Driving them from A to B, meeting up for lunch or on family trips, they said, Uncle Ben made each individual feel fully loved and supported through conversation, through special little rituals unique to each niece and through his own priorities, such as attending out-of-state youth sports tournaments to cheer them on.
Blanchfield said: “Ben was the kind of person who if you needed him for anything, he was there with his whole self: happy, generous, patient, trustworthy, strong and courageous.” He added that Olmstead possessed a gift of “radical hospitality” and that the deceased held a philosophy that “when you came to the house, you could never be too late.”
Weed thanked New Canaan EMS and first responders, as well as Norwalk Hospital medical staff for doing all they could to help in the hours following last week’s tragic accident. She said her father took great joy in his work, calling him “an encyclopedia of New Canaan” in that he not only “knew every pipe” and piece of infrastructure in the town but also relished conversation and relationships with colleagues, contractors and residents.
“Dad really was the mayor of New Canaan,” Weed said.
She remembered him as a beaming and energetic man who “loved my mom with all his heart” and possessed a rare, profound kindness toward others.
“I’ve never met anyone nicer in my life than my dad, and I was touched by how many people told me that,” Weed said.
“Dad will always be here with all of us,” she added.
Weed said that what she’d miss most following Olmstead’s passing is how any time she’d visit her father at home, he’d leap up out of a chair to embrace her and find out how she was doing, calling her “sweetie.”
“If I’ve learned one thing over the past few days, it’s that we should all smile more and greet one another with a smile, like my dad did, whether he knew you two seconds, two days or two years,” she said.
Olmstead’s pallbearers were Neil Dennehy, Anthony Giannitti, George Giannitti, Chris Pollastro, Gene Pollastro, Randy Weaver, Wally Weaver and Mark Weed.
His obituary may be read here, and online condolences may be left on the same page.